Regretful

Regret... affliction, dissatisfaction, demur, bitterness, remorse, self-condemnation, sorrow, anguish, nostalgia.


According to Merriam-Webster, regret is to mourn the loss or death of, miss very much, or be very sorry for.  Often times we do little things that we regret in the short term and wish we would have do something else different or perhaps better.  Many people are taught not to regret the past and this is true because it can make you live in the past and torment you for not having done whatever the regret may be.


While I am a firm believer in not regretting the past I feel like everyone has something that hits the back of there mind from time to time when a situation that involves their regret pops up.  I reason that everything happens for a reason and the decisions you make build who you are and your present character.  Sometimes when someone regrets something it can be as minor as regretting and embarrassing statement in front of some friends or not going to lunch with a colleague.  Regret can also be much more definitive and life altering such as regretting not having protective sex or having an affair with a friends significant other.


As stated before, I try to live life with no regrets, however the is one irritation that gets me from time to time.  Now, I am only 22 years old so I can't say that I have lived an extraordinary life full of experiences and goals.  Anyways, from about the age of 10 or 11 up to the age of 18 I had my heart set on being a marine mammal specialist or veterinarian.  Specifically I wanted to work with orca whales in anyway I could.  Whether it be behind the scenes, as a trainer, or veterinarian I wanted to work with this animal in particular.  I was so drawn to them.  I had a passion for animals and studying them.  As a kid I was always reading and learning about animals so this outlook made sense.  Throughout all four years of high school, seven out of eight semesters I was committed to an animal science and veterinarian program.


Growing up my family went to SeaWorld a lot throughout my elementary and middle school years.  This is where my fascination began.  However, these visits subsided around 9th or 10th grade and even though I stayed involved animal science and orca whale studies I picked up another interest in visual arts.  I succeeded particularly well and enjoyed art during high school as well.  When it came time to go to college I went in as undeclared.  I took a couple art classes and declared my major in Art.  Since then I have taken it down to a minor and changed my major to another form of art, film.


The regret kicked within the last year.  My girlfriend and I got season passes to SeaWorld.  Before getting passes, I had been to the marine park only once since my early high school years.  Now though living in the same city as the park I am able to frequent it much more and every time we go there is that reflection in my mind that is irritating every time and sometimes almost a gut-wrenching feeling.


Life goes on.  I always tell myself maybe I will get a chance to involve my new interests with past interests and do something with with the both of them.  

Insight

Throughout a decent amount of my life thus far I have been a little overweight or chubby to say the least. It has always been a little bothersome, perhaps uncomfortable. I know now that I did not eat healthy whenever I wasn't home and was not into any physical activity. Just over two years ago my best friend decided to adopt a vegan lifestyle. Vegans are people who do not consume animal products or byproducts for food or material needs. My friend lost a lot of weight and became much healthier. So, I decided I would attempt to take a stab at it as well. It was a slow transition of cutting out more and more animal products over time. Finally, I was completely vegan and could state it. From then on I have had so many comments and questions about my choice and many times in a negative manner. They would even come from friends and family.

"Why?"

"How do you get your protein? What about all the other nutrients from animals?"

"Animals are for humans to eat, are they not?"

"You are missing out on life."

"What do you eat, lettuce?"

"If we stopped eating meat, the world would be overrun by animals."

This list is inexhaustible with more remarks about PETA, canine teeth, preachiness, and concern about plants. Hearing all of these comments started to irritate me. I briefly went vegetarian for a while and even ate meat off and on at certain places and occasions. I didn't understand why the lifestyle was mocked and poked fun at.

Then it hit me. I noticed that I thought the same things when my friend went vegan. I wasn't as critical about it as many people can be, but I did have some of the same thoughts and questions. I was uneducated and began to realize that many of the people around me are the same way about the subject of veganism.

From there, I went on to research all that I could about the lifestyle. I have watched various film clips, read a massive amount online and a few selections from books and magazines. Since then I have been trying to find ways of educating people about it without being preachy, if someone genuinely is curious I will let them in on hows, whys, and whats they want to know. In any case there are still individuals who don't care and just ask taunting questions which in that case they receive a similar answer. I have also tried applying it to art and as a blog. I am trying to find more and more ways to help people better understand the lifestyle as I continue my own search and discovery.

I thought that being a little overweight was difficult and embarrassing to deal with. I never thought that a diet that is healthy and makes someone happy could bring any kind of difficulties. Regardless, I have learned to not let anyone question what you believe in, until you know the truth and to just do what you want and some will follow while there will always be those who push away.